As CEO of Pungent Sound Technical College of Technology, I can tell you that we are proudly a for-profit school. In fact, it is an honor to wake up every morning; see our students’ smiling faces; and know that we are exclusively focused on serving our shareholders.
The college is located on the tranquil waters of Pungent Sound, which is off the coast of Block Island. But don’t let the romantic setting fool you. The college is very difficult to get into. Not so much academically – if you can pay the tuition, you are in. It is difficult physically to get into, because the college is on an old barge, which enables us to constantly move around and avoid our creditors. It is also why our school mascot is the Barnacle.
So if you are looking for the best education we can offer, you have found the right place. Plus, we can help you secure a loan to pay your tuition. Our professors may not be experts in their fields, but they are experts on the student loan system. And they work on commission! So apply now. What are you waiting for? Be a Barnacle!
And, finally, I’m not only the CEO of the Pungent Sound Technical College of Technology, but I’m also a shareholder.
Titmouse Beak, Chief Executive Officer and Adjunct Professor for Student Loans.