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Pungent Sound Community Bank – Home of the No-Credit-Check Tuition Loan

Do you have bad credit? So do we!

Based upon our exclusive relationship with Pungent Sound Technical College of Technology (Home of the Barnacles), Pungent Sound Community Bank is the go-to place for your student loan. Ask any of your adjunct professors (and they are all adjunct professors). Each of them specializes in the student loan process. The synergy of their drive to get a commission and our lack of due diligence enables you to get the tuition loan you need – and then some more.

And don’t worry about us. Because it is nearly impossible for you to discharge your student loans (even in bankruptcy), we can lend you more money than you need. We literally have no incentive not to. You want to major in Symbology and study under the fictional Robert Langdon, which will result in you having zero career prospects. Fine by us! How much do you want? Talk to your adjunct professor today!

And remember – whether you have a loan with us or not, you will always be a Barnacle in our eyes.

Titmouse Beak, President of Pungent Sound Community Bank