The dangers are legion, but when you travel internationally foreigners mess with your mind. The problem is, however, when you’re in their country, they technically aren’t foreigners.
Here’s an example, I was in an Athens bar, and I asked the bartender where the Acropolis is. He said, “Which one?” So I said, “Hey man, don’t mess with me, I’m American!“
Now, you can get away with that in Barcelona, because the Spaniards will just pull out a squirt gun and spray water on your shirt. But in Athens, the Greeks will pour Ouzo on your head and try to set you on fire, so I profusely apologized and then told him, “I’m Canadian.” That solved everything, and we spent the rest of the night mocking Americans.
By the way, acropolis doesn’t mean what I thought it meant. An acropolis is the highest hill in a city, so nearly every city in Greece has an acropolis.
Tengo Leche, International Affairs Editor
Pungent Sound Journal of Pulp Poetry 