Thoughts on the Dangers of Pretending to be a Poet (Part 5)

Delusions of grandeur. Pretend poets think they’re special. Which is ridiculous. Poetry never saved a life. It hasn’t cured cancer. I’m certain it never will considering how much liquor it drinks.

Have you read Lewis Carroll? Pure nonsense.

So this is a message to everyone who pretends to be a poet (and that is every poet living and/or dead): get a real job. You will be happier and so will your family. Poetry has never solved any problem. You know what has? Money and hotels.

If my lazy-ass son had a real job, instead of masturbating all day and calling it a poetry blog, he wouldn’t keep asking me for money. I wouldn’t keep telling him no, and I would love him.

Poetry is easy. I will show you. I literally wrote this off the top of my head three minutes ago.

The Ballad of Knowgood Carp 

I know damn well
when I cast my spell
I will be okay
on the Judgment Day
because I have more money
so I can buy God's honey
and if I want to bone ya'
what I'll do is phone ya'.

Do better than that, B.S. Eliot.  I defy you.

Knowgood Carp, Owner of all the Hotels on Block Island and Some in Connecticut


  1. Liz H says:

    Sadly, if you want to be a poet, or a writer, or an artist, or anything art, you likely will need a real job, to keep body & soul together. And that is a great sorce of inspiration, in itself. Yay, so much winning?! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I could never be a poet because I could not do the suffering. I cannot be a pretend poet because I cannot even pretend to be suffering.


    1. luvgoodcarp says:

      That sounds like living right.


  3. JosieHolford says:

    It’s all very well you stamping your foot and having a poutrage. Some poets ARE overlooked and DESERVE to be remembered. And while they may not be as LUGUBRIOUS as T.S. Eliot they are just as good!

    I give you this challenge: C.Elwydd Abel Prentiss.

    Read any THREE of his published poems and tell me I am wrong.


    1. luvgoodcarp says:

      Thanks, Josie. Please forgive my father. If he didn’t have poutrages, he would have nothing to say at all. Also, thanks for bringing Prentiss to my attention. I enjoyed the poems, and I enjoy your blog.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. JosieHolford says:

        So exactly how many of his poems did you read?


  4. luvgoodcarp says:

    I read two of them.


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