Planter’s Punch

I’m rich because I don’t like to pay for things – like taxes. And because I’m rich, I don’t have to. Take, for example, vacations. I can afford to pay top dollar and stay at an exclusive resort in a wealthy country. But why would I do that when it is so much cheaper to stay at an exquisite resort in a poor country?

I know what you’re thinking. But, Knowgood, will you be safe? With all the intense pressure you are under everyday as a powerful hotel magnate, how will you relax? We’re worried about you.

Don’t worry. Vacationing in poor countries is remarkably fun and safe. You land at the airport and people are everywhere desperate to help you out for a small fee. It’s as if their lives depend on it. But what’s best is you can haggle. That small fee then becomes paltry.

I hear you. That does sound like fun, Knowgood, but do you ever get a chance to relax?

Sure you do – at the posh resort drinking Planter’s Punch and smoking Cuban cigars while pissing in the colonial blue waters. You can relax because you are perfectly safe. That’s what the men armed with assault weapons make sure of. At least I think they’re men. It’s hard to say because they’re wearing camo with Kevlar vests – and balaclavas, so all you can see is their angry eyes.

It’s impossible not to relax.

Knowgood Carp, Owner of All the Hotels on Block Island (and Some in Connecticut)

4 Comments

  1. I have been one of the bad guys (2013 El Salvador) in your scenario when I attended the baptisms of two grandchildren and was captive to arrangements made by others. I was definitely uncomfortable (and did not feel safe at all) so was at least self aware of the disturbing scene. Great post.

    Like

    1. luvgoodcarp says:

      Thanks, Geoff. Though I must say, attending the baptisms of your grandchildren in El Salvador certainly does not make you a bad guy or put you in the same category as my father when he vacations.

      Like

  2. annabelharz says:

    ‘Colonial blue’ as an artistic colour shade – inspired!

    Like

  3. luvgoodcarp says:

    Thanks very much.

    Like

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