Your grief and rage are layers of peeling paint pasting together the rotted boards of a ramshackle house and when those layers are scraped away the bat-filled building collapses into a massive sink hole which gives birth to a ravenous mouth crammed with rows of shark teeth that devours everything I consider mine. So the night is long. Luvgood Carp, Editor-in-Chief
My wife was making coffee when the beast flopped on her head so she screamed and she shook and I jumped out of bed to find a leather-clad succubus spread-eagle on the floor so I quickly grabbed my broom and swept it out the door. Then I gave my wife a tactful kiss, before recalling that's a mistake because every time I touch her lips my stomach starts to ache. In the bathroom brushing my teeth foam gushed down my chin. It made a frothy bubble beard, and my head started to spin. So I hurried to the computer, went to WhatsWrongWithMeMD, typed all my ails in a tiny box and clicked on the medic emoji who quickly appeared to look at my face, and without pausing for thought said I have herpes, rickets, or rabies and atrophy in a private spot. So here I am at urgent who cares answering why, what, and where when Dr. Emoji has already seen me and says I have no time to spare.
Luvgood Carp, Editor-in-Chief