A Best Man Before the Toast

Love did not win today.
It's only one for three.
So what should I say
as everyone stares at me?
And him.

Can we both be best?
Should not I
(or he - more likely)
be a wedding guest?

What an oxymoronic surprise!
A lovely wedding jest -
best becomes a pity prize
awarded at an inquest.

So what do you do
when the woman you crave
doesn't crave you?
She will love no boy
yet she is loved by two.

Put us Don Quixote's employ - 
two donkeys on an impossible quest.
Dress us in tuxedos of corduroy
and tell everyone we are best.

Kindness is the best
way to condescend.
You are the best
but you're just a friend.
A best friend - just like him.

So what do I say
as you stare at me?
A slack-jawed caveman
in a glass display.

Love acts with wicked glee -
in pursuit of its own perverse fun.
To one, Love gives three.
To two, Love gives none.

Love doesn't give a crap
about love, who's best,
or what I need.
So when will I stop
shaking salt into the sea?

Lovegood Carp, Editor-in-Chief