Tag Archives: Hero

Not Just Another Nepo Baby

Reading Kurt Vonnegut’s God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater reminded me of something profound I just made up. Only the delusional or masochistic read Vonnegut hoping to find an intricate plot or a deep analysis of a character’s psyche. If anyone reads Vonnegut these days, they do so for his moral clarity and barbed humor. To that I say sign me up, as long as I can still be masochistic in all the other aspects of my life. What’s that you say, Dear Reader? Ouch, that hurt! Say it again, daddy.

The protagonist and hero in this story is Eliot Rosewater, a trust fund baby who is a “drunkard, a Utopian dreamer, a tinhorn saint, and aimless fool.” He also owns and manages his family’s charity, which is worth millions. He tires of his privileged life in Manhattan and moves back to Rosewater, Indiana, a neglected rust belt community that’s also his ancestral home. He wants to become an artist. “I’m going to love these discarded Americans, even though they’re useless and unattractive. That is going to be my work of art.” Most artists have a God complex, but Eliot is a modern-day Christ figure, and just like Jesus he has a difficult and domineering father.

That father is a U.S. senator, who has “spent [his] life demanding that people blame themselves for their misfortunes.” He disapproves of Eliot and would desperately like a grandchild he could approve of. One that would take over the charity and be less charitable. There’s another person who’d like to do the same. He’s a lawyer and he believes he’s found a way to replace Eliot as the charity’s manager. He just has to prove Eliot is insane, and Eliot is doing a wonderful job of unintentionally helping the lawyer prove his case. So who will control the charity? The welfare of Rosewater’s destitute citizens depends on the answer.

In God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater Vonnegut skewers the purported legitimacy of inherited wealth. “I think it’s terrible the way people don’t share things in this country. I think it’s a heartless government that will let one baby be born owning a big piece of the country . . . and let another baby be born without owning anything.” Published in 1970, the story is as relevant now as ever. The novel is the perfect introduction to, or reminder of, Vonnegut’s simple grace, moral outrage, wicked humor, and deep intellect.

But let’s say you only read novels with intricate plots and complex psychological analyses, then read this instead. It’s the best summation of Vonnegut’s works, and it happens to have been written by that grand curmudgeon himself: “Pretend to be good always, and even God will be fooled.”

Gladiola Overdrive, Chief Editor

When You Google It, Just Remember – It’s Penal, Not Penile

Published in 2023, Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah’s Chain-Gang All Stars is influenced by some of America’s sports/entertainment behemoths, including the National Football League, Reality Television, and the World Wrestling Foundation. If you think of capitalism as a game, throw that one in, too. Each has a “bloodsport” element to it, so it’s understandable that Adjei-Brenyah draws from them, because Chain-Gang All-Stars is the “crown jewel in the Criminal Action Penal Entertainment program.” It allows felons “under their own will and power . . . to forgo a state-administered execution or a sentence totaling at least twenty-five year’s imprisonment” to participate in a spectacle where they can travel the country, get some fresh air, and perhaps become a hero. Oh, yeah, every couple of weeks or so, they’ll have to fight each other to the death in sold-out arenas and on pay-per-view television. But if they survive three years in the program, they may be granted clemency or a full pardon. Yippee! Where do I sign?

What’s that, dear reader? Yes, you’re correct. This has been done before. Several times, in fact. There’s the movie, The Longest Yard, and the re-make of that movie, also called The Longest Yard. And the movie, Running Man, and the other movie, Escape From New York, and the Hunger Games franchise. So it’s not really a fresh idea.

Except, here, everything in the penile, dammit, penal system is privately owned, and the competitors have corporate sponsors. Oh, yeah, that’s been done before, too.

How about this? Adjei-Brenyah wants you to take his premise as seriously as he does. And he’s not afraid to preach. The system is evil, evil, evil. He’s going to smack you in the face with the horror of it all, because he’s concerned you won’t figure it out on your own. These prisoners are humans, who’ve had traumatic upbringings. In case that’s inconceivable to you, he has characters say things like “These marks (tattoos showing the number of kills they have) don’t mean we aren’t people. These chains don’t mean we have to do it like they want.” He has footnotes! They cite statistics!! Some are relevant!!!

All of this is to impress upon the reader that America’s penal system is dehumanizing and evil. And the reader is like no shit, I already knew it was awful and in desperate need of reform. The fact that you’ve come up with a bloodier version of a more-than-twice-told tale doesn’t shed more light on the subject.

The outlandish premise would have been perfect for a satire, and that seems to be what Adjei-Brenyah initially intended. But about halfway through, he abandons that approach and turns to evangelism. The story is violent, bloody, and angry. Those are its strengths. There’s just one weakness. All that preaching and self-seriousness gets to be a bore.

Gladiola Overdrive, Chief Editor

In a Surprise Only to Me

News Alert! The centrist leaning No Chance party has abandoned its plan to nominate a milquetoast candidate in this year’s U.S. presidential election. In making the announcement, No Chance spokesperson, Saffron Crow, spoke the following, “Pampered and self-satisfied Americans everywhere are hungry for two things: rice bowls with fried tofu and uninspiring presidential candidates with vague, non-offensive positions. That’s why we asked Shy Meeks and then E.Z. Timid and finally Vapid Agonistes to be our irresolute leader. Sadly, all of them refused. Despite the mountains of evidence to the contrary, we still believe our proud, enervated country craves unity over division, problem-solvers over problems, and competence over comedy. Accordingly, in four years, we will undertake this futile exercise in self-regard all over again. See you then.”

When asked if she was concerned that a vibrant democracy like the United States couldn’t support more than two viable political parties, Saffron Crow responded, “I’m not worried at all. In a democracy, vibrant or not, the people might not get the hero they need, but they always get the hero they deserve.”

Tengo Leche, Pointless Politics Editor