Scientists on Earth believe oxygen on Mars is behaving strangely. But how would they know? They have never visited that remote red rock. And who made them judges of what is normal and what is strange? When they know nothing of normal and they, themselves, are so strange. Have they considered instead that maybe oxygen behaves normally on Mars and behaves strangely on Earth? Or maybe oxygen can behave no other way because Mars is nasty and treats oxygen like a noxious gas. The HR department believes I'm behaving strangely. But how would they know? They have never endured the daily indignities I am subjected to. Have they considered instead that maybe I'm behaving normally - given the circumstances? Maybe they wouldn't judge if you had been nasty to them; treated them like a noxious gas; left them to live life like cockroaches in the dark wondering what will happen when the light turns on. So for the record, if there ever is one, this is not my fault. If you had only returned my calls, texts, emails, or come to the door when I pounded on it, your basement window wouldn't be broken. I wouldn't be bleeding in your airless closet. Luvgood Carp, Editor-in-Chief First published in Boston Literary Magazine