Being a reputable media outlet, this journal frequently focuses on news that’s intended to make readers angry. Hey, whatever it takes to get those precious clicks. Well, not today – because we’re bringing you a feel-good story where common sense prevails.
On June 12, 2023, Texas passed the READER Act, which stands for Restricting Explicit and Adult-Designed Educational Resources. It requires book vendors selling to Texas public schools to rate books based on sexual content. https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/04/business/texas-sexually-explicit-books-law/index. Now it will be much easier to find sexually explicit material in school books. I must confess: This news gave me a joy boner.
Per the law vendors must first determine whether a book has sexual content. Easy peasy. If so, they must then label that content as either “patently offensive” (aka the good stuff) or just “sexually relevant” (aka missionary position). Simple pimple, because everyone knows what “patently offensive” means. Is it offensive? Do you have a patent for it?
But how will I know how hot the “patently offensive” stuff is? I don’t want to waste my money here. Not to worry. Texas thought of that too. A committee will assign anywhere from 1 (that’s different) to 4 (need a new pair of underwear) erect eggplant emojis to books with patently offensive material. It will assign 1 (after school TV special) to 4 (is that your grandfather?) withered eggplant emojis to books with boring sexually relevant material.
All I can say is: Thank you, Texas. Now, if only Goodreads would do the same.
Tengo Leche, Patently Offensive Editor
Pungent Sound Journal of Pulp Poetry 