Empty Boxes for Cats

Inconceivable!
Did he not see the signs?

I am sure that he did.
Still, he refused to comply.

Did you politely ask him to stop?

I certainly did,
and he said he would not.
Instead he mocked me much more,
did a lewd dance - 
called my mother a whore.

Inconceivable!
He can't insult people here.
It's simply not allowed -
the signs make it perfectly clear.
And your mom's not a ho.
Has he even met her?
Is there something he may know?

Oh, he knew what he was doing.
He saw the signs and smirked.
Then the profanity started spewing.

But the signs should have kept him away -
like empty boxes ward off cats
and old people avoid Tampa Bay.
Why does he keep saying such vile stuff?
Could it be the signs aren't big enough?

Luvgood Carp, Editor-in-Chief

Why Are You Clutching a Cat?

Did the kitty commit a crime
and in your imagination's prison
is this how felons do their time?

Or did no one want to sit with you
because humans find your company
as terrifying as cats do?

Do you crush anything that's cute?
Should we notify the ACLU
or wait for PETA to file a lawsuit? 

Luvgood Carp, Editor-in-Chief

Mrs. Muzzle

   By Monday morning,
   a furious Mrs. Muzzle
   pounced on Uncle's lap,
   took her petite paw
   and gave his smirking lips
   several wicked smacks.

   But he continued to talk
   as if he was used to that 
   repeating a tedious tale
   about a dubious time
   when Smear the Queer
   was a Hunger Game
   the neighborhood kids 
   would play.

   And everyone was proud and happy
   though no one was proud and gay.

   Problem people stayed silent 
   otherwise they were gagged,
   and proper people spoke English
   with a Midwest accent -
   the same one Jesus had.

   Luvgood Carp, Editor-in-Chief