Tag Archives: Truth

Didn’t See That One Coming

We, here, at Pungent Sound Journal of Pulp Poetry would like to commend the International Press Corps for its incisive undercover reporting on a major international scandal. We, also, freely admit that we dropped the ball. We were duped. It embarrasses us to say so, but the truth is the truth, and the truth is the press’ currency of the realm.

We didn’t see it coming, and we’re galled by the brazenness of the deception. Like all intelligent people of good will, we trusted the British monarchy. After all, it earned our trust after hundreds of years of selfless service and beneficial works. So we were stunned when every global news agency reported for 48 uninterrupted hours that the British royal family doctored a picture for the sole purpose of making themselves look good.

We were even more surprised that the most pampered and privileged people in the world – people who do nothing all day long and are lavishly rewarded for it – could suck so bad at photo editing. Presenting a false image of happiness and respectability has been their only job for 100 years or so.

So kudos to you International Press Corps. The people of Haiti, Gaza, Israel, and Ukraine thank you for keeping the world focused on the truly important stories impacting humanity.

Saffron Crow, Photo Doctoring Editor

Easter Service on Stone Mountain

When the sun began to rise so, too, did the deacon
scaling that sacred rock to the Nimbus Arena
where the Holy Trinity resides in petrified consternation.

He plopped himself down at the left hand of Lee,
gave a grim nod to Stonewall on his stony steed,
and from the lap of Jefferson Davis
proclaimed the good news:

Heritage is the Way                    of preserving power;
the Truth                                        tamed by tradition;
and the Life                                    lived in the past.

Heritage is the burning cross illuminating
the Master's house in the cotton-filled clouds.

So blessed be heritage’s most zealous defenders
for they shall inherit the blistered remains of the earth.

Blessed, too, be any deed done in the name of heritage,
no matter how heinous, for heritage sanctions everything
except change.

Luvgood Carp, Editor-in-Chief

Facebook Friends

If a waning moon
is still a moon
then we were children.

We were also wet
and nearly naked,
half-hidden in the dark,
hoping our drunk parents
would remain dumb.

Our probing tongues
made easy promises
that tasted like truth
with a dash of delusion.

But now the moon is new
and we are Facebook friends.
We share our virtual lives;
celebrate our virtual victories
while still hiding in the dark.

Luvgood Carp, Editor-in-Chief 

first published in Artemis

NTGILTY2

Looking good, McSmugly, looking good!

That's what I hear whenever I see
my marbled face staring back at me.
Not that I seek my reflection out - 
it's just that in my office
I have so many mirrors about.

And who might McSmugly be?
Is that what you're asking?
                                                      Seriously?
How have you not heard of me?

I am the Creator

of a law firm:  Swift in Justice LLC.
Visit my website for a wonderful profile of me.
Win a pass for the free parking lot,
and read my motto:

The Truth Is Negotiable - My Fees Are Not. 

I do personal injuries
but I specialize in misdemeanors and felonies.
Are you sure you haven't heard of me?

I have storefronts in two states.
Hell, I drive a gold Lexus with vanity plates.
They say NTGILTY, which is what my clients tell the jury
then I take over and earn my fee,
because alibis don't sound like lies
when they're spoken by me.

I have never lost a case
though my clients have lost quite a few.
But I have no time to rue their fate - 
not when I'm Prometheus chained to an hourly rate.

That's how I live NTGILTY too.
When you charge by the hour, how much you make
depends on how long you stay awake,
and your ability to bill during a bathroom break.

So I never have time to reflect
and the only thing I ever regret
is all those fees I fail to collect.

Luvgood Carp, Editor-in-Chief